>I’ve never been a person to make New Year’s resolutions. I think every day can be an opportunity to resolve to do something, not just January 1st. This year, as most years gone by, I didn’t officially resolve to do anything different. But now I’m sensing the need to break out of my old habits and embrace change by making a declaration. So today, January 27, 2009, I resolve to try harder to embrace less Evil.
It all began thirteen years ago, I found myself drawn to Evil. It was magnetic, persistent. In a strange new way, it brought me joy. And, contrary to what would be expected, it actually became a bond that held our family together. The focus on this Evil being so strong, my entire family could spend time together in an odd peace. Perhaps we didn’t perceive the deception in these moments. Perhaps it was our inner, human nature, the fallen man in us all, but Evil became our delight.
After a time, by the grace of God, we found new life outside of Evil. We began to distance ourselves from the cult-like entity, and thankfully we’d never found others who wanted to join. Distractions with schooling and friends and life drew us apart, and Evil lost its hold. Yet, no matter how hard we all tried, it still lurked in the shadows. It was as if it were a toy, long forgotten in a closet, but longing to be played with. It was still there, unseen but unchanged, waiting to be embraced again.
Years passed, years of peace, of joy. Life. Travel. Marriage. Work. Kids. And then it all changed. My mom called and asked if I could help her. Evil was calling, through her memories and all she wanted was to satisfy that desire. And being the ever-obedient daughter that I am, I couldn’t justify telling her no. And I wanted Evil for myself.
I found myself searching, searching for what was right, searching for the perfect fit. And I went where my mother told me to go. I only wish I would’ve refused, as I have paid dearly.
I went to the website. I clicked on the item and went to the checkout. I purchased the movie, the cult-classic, Evil Roy Slade. And it felt good. But the evil-induced euphoria was short-lived. I soon found that, not only had I bought the DVD for a mere $.25, but they had signed me up for a free trial of their discount DVD community. After seven days they would begin charging me a monthly fee. I immediately went to the site, found a phone number and called asking my name to be removed and all accounts with them closed. No problem. No harm no foul. And Evil would soon arrive.
Within a week, I held the wondrous DVD in my hands, quickly deciding to share Evil with all I knew. It was a happy day.
But then, today I found out all is not well. Evil persists in many forms. There was a charge to my bank account that I had not authorized, from the same company I had purchased the DVD. And when I called, they pretended they couldn’t hear me, to the worst extent. After a real person came on the phone and asked my name, they took it, then when I tried to ask for help the non-American person who I had been speaking with quickly gave me this reply, “I’m sorry ma’am, we’re experiencing a high volume of calls, please call back at a better time.”. What? You can’t tell me that! But they did. So, after talking to my bank, and finding multiple charges from the company, I have now forfeited my debit card and will have to patiently wait for a new one.
Some lessons have been learned.
First, Evil can come even through SSL secured sites and wreak havoc on bank accounts.
“Give me *everybody’s* money back!” -Evil Roy Slade
Second, I probably shouldn’t follow my mom’s plans when it comes to online shopping. If this was only the beginning, I don’t want to see the end.
“I learned a valuable lesson today. Never trust a pretty girl, or a lonely midget.” -Evil Roy Slade
And lastly, though I will still shop online, I may think twice before asking God for topics to write about. Sometimes answered prayers seem almost Evil, if you know what I mean.
“I ain’t giving up. I’ve worked hard, it took me years to work my way to the bottom”. -Evil Roy Slade