inquiries, apologies and adieus….

>I’ve decided, as of tomorrow, I most likely will be cranky for a few days. I may be irritable, irrational and some other word that starts with “i”. Perhaps I shall be impossible. Ill-tempered, if you will. And what is the cause of this? What could possibly happen that would make me act in such a way, a way that hardly is different from any other day?

I’m giving up one of my ‘bad habits’.

Constantly inspecting and re-inspecting life has led me to believe I have room for improvement. I have not yet attained perfection, so I must assess myself regularly. Perhaps too regularly, most likely, not often enough. But auditing my present state of being is habitual. (Not that I will be curbing that proclivity any time soon!)

Where was I? Creating a preemptive apology for being cranky.

So, what possible tendency could I deny myself that would cause me to become so irascible? Is it possible that I could really become so incensed over the loss of one impulsion? And why should I even try to relieve myself of this dependence, if it’s only going to cause extreme ire?

So many irritating inquiries!

Perhaps I am choosing to deny myself this impulse because the impulse itself is daily causing me to be infuriated. Constantly I find myself imprisoned in its influence. Irked by its idiosyncrasy. Irate by its irrationality. I… I… I am running out of words that start with the letter ‘i’.

All of this to say, I’m sorry if I behave erratically (I really wish that word was spelled ‘irratically’, that sentence would’ve been far more fun). I may seem out of sorts, perhaps disconnected, but I will try to behave. And eventually, the fog may clear and I’ll have the ability to think for myself again, without the influence of this awful inclination.

So today, I say adieu. Adios. Farewell. So long. Cheerio. Ciao. Hasta la vista. Godspeed. Sayonara. Arrivederci. May the road rise to meet you… I shall miss you, but over time, the separation will not seem so severe. Tomorrow as I ingest my morning coffee quota, I will try to ponder new things. New thoughts, new ideas, have new conversations with my kiddos. And I will not miss my daily newspaper. I will not! And I’ll try not to misbehave out of frustration from breaking my insipid routine. Really. You don’t believe me? Wanna make something of it?!

2 thoughts on “inquiries, apologies and adieus….

  1. >I don't wish to be as the Devil's advocate. I really don't. But I must wonder how pray-tell will you indeed busy your moments so that you are not first searching the funny papers and then rolling into the editorials once again. Possibly you might chew some newspaper gum or get a newspaper patch or else I fear you will be back to inevitable. Another idea would be a support group or some self-help books on the subject. One more thought–did that rag–the RG lend to your vocabulary or your literary skills at all?–we must give the Devil his due.

  2. >(Ir)regardless of what influenced you to invest time in this ignominious endeavor(indeavor). I will always include you in my irrational, irreverent and sometimes irritating imaginations of irrepressible musings!

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