These last two weeks have been a struggle for me. I’ve had to face the realization that most days I want to give up too easily, especially when facing obstacles that seem insurmountable. Like typos. Lots of formatting issues and typos. I’ve spent the majority of my time recently trying to attain perfection in this soon-to-release book of mine. And all the while I’ve dealt with doubt during every step of the process.
That obnoxious, annoying little voice of self-doubt has incessantly tried to abuse me throughout this whole process.
Why are you writing this?
Do you think people actually want you to share this, or care if you do?
And who are you to think you’re capable of writing a book? You can barely send a typo-free text…
You’ll never finish…
It’ll never be good enough…
Doubt is ugly.
The great American poet and novelist Slyvia Plath said, “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
William Shakespeare wrote in Measure for Measure, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
I fear to attempt, because I fear failure. I’ve let doubt stop me in my tracks before and have many tales of the remorse I feel today because of it. My worst enemy truly is doubt and doubting my ability to do anything, to try anything, to be anything…
And that’s not right. I need to aim to live without fears, and to be fearless of failing. I need to know that perfection isn’t attainable and even if it were, it wouldn’t be sustainable. I need to remember I’m human, and my creations, my endeavors, will ultimately reflect that. And I need to, most of all, accept the fact that it’s okay if I don’t get it right the first time.
John Wayne once said, “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.”
It’s time for me to saddle up. It’s time for me to find my courage, embrace bravery and share what I am supposed to share with the world.
Here’s a little peek at the back cover of my book. Imperfect, but getting closer. I can’t wait to share it with you, soon, perfect or not.
What doubts do you need to move past today?