Confessions: Zombie Edition

I need to fess up about a couple of things.

 

First of all, as much as I’d like to think I’m ready for it, I may not be as prepared as many of you are for a zombie apocalypse. I have no excuses, and I’m working on it, but for now I’ll have to beg your forgiveness.

 

Secondly, I have something far more embarrassing to admit. I never intended for this to happen. I actually thought this would be an utter impossibility for me, yet here I am. A changed person. Humbled by what I’ve become. I’ve had to re-learn to judge people less, as I’ve become a person like them. I’ve become like those people. If it’s any consolation, I promise to keep myself in check as best as I can. And my best effort is all I can guarantee, as I’m a constantly failing human. Please be patient with me,  I’ll try to return the favor.

 

Much to my chagrin, it’s who I’ve become and it’s time to come clean about this. I’ve become a dog person. I highly dislike being one of those people, you know what I mean… Those people who actually talk about their dog on occasion. Those shameless people who think of their dogs as more than a pet, and actually consider them to be part of their family.

 

I just can’t help it.

 

Maybe it’s because my dog Mojo is so darn cute and can rock the old-man sweaters. (Not that I’ve seen a lot of old men wearing sweaters with skulls and crossbones…) Perhaps it’s because he’s so mellow and calm (Lies. He’s a Boston Terrier.) Maybe it’s because he’s so quirky. Actually, I know it’s because of his quirks that I’ve grown so fond of him.

 

I know I’ve written of him before, how he prefers Spanish over English. (Yes, my dog is bi-lingual.) I know I’ve mentioned that he can dress himself for Halloween. He admittedly does have weaknesses, such as his non-existent ability to swim (he has a dog life-jacket. Did you know they even made those?!). Plus he can be frightened of shadows.

 

But there’s one thing he’s not afraid of. Where others might shirk in fear, he’s ready to run towards his enemy and vanquish his foes. He’s ready and willing to engage in battle at the mere mention of his adversary. He’s been trained for this, and will never hesitate to take action…

 

“Mojo, where are the zombies?”

 

From sound sleep, from playing with a favorite toy or even eating his dinner, Mojo will bolt into action at the mere mention of zombies. Running to the nearest window or door, he will stay on high-alert until he feels the threat of zombies has passed. Day or night, Mojo is prepared for the onslaught. Unlike me. Coffee first, apocalypse later.

 

So I apologize for being one of those people who love their dogs, but fail at readying themselves for the end of the world. At least my dog is willing to engage the enemy at all hours on my behalf, that’s gotta count for something, right?

 

Okay, confession time from you, dear readers…

 

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? Have you trained your pets to battle for you? Would you/do you let your dog wear sweaters?

 

 

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