The sun warmed me as I sat on the hill for an unknown amount of time today. I heard the wind whisper, a gentle melody playing through the leaves of the trees, peaceably fighting not to be drowned out by a chorus of birds conversing in a stand of oak trees nearby. Several bees hummed by, adding their own voice to nature’s symphony. A dragonfly slowly passed by me, looking as though it had no care in the world.

And all the while listening, I found myself longing to hear a new, joyful melody in my heart…

I noticed an osprey above as it flew quickly past, undoubtedly heading towards the waters that contained its next meal. In the distance, the reservoir reflected the blue sky, a perfect image of peace, so calm, so still, so inviting.

And I found myself wishing I could fly above the cares of the world, serene, unburdened…

As I remained seated in the dry grass, I continued to let my gaze wander over the scenery. The trees in the nearby forest quickly gained my attention and I found myself admiring the obvious strength of the mighty fir trees. Forever green, forever resilient, forever growing despite drought or flood, forever persevering, reaching higher and higher.

And I prayed that I would be able to grow through the droughts and the storms…

Noticing the many flowers nearby, brightening the grounds around me, their happy faces delighted my eyes with their incredible colors. They were symbolic of so much, each flower having its own meaning. The roses, in clusters scattered around me, symbolized love, joy, and gratitude. The daisies, which represent cheerfulness, and with all of their various, brilliant colors, completely lived up to their meaning with their cheerful appearance. The gladiolas remained standing despite the enduring sun, perfectly fitting for them, as they’re a symbol of strength of character, faithfulness and honor. The carnations, the irises, the lilies, the anemones and all of the other flowers had one other attribute, an attribute that meant more than anything else; these flowers were all a symbol of remembrance.

That I will always remember, with gratitude and strength, honor and love…

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and decided it was time to depart from this beautiful location, this place where I go to remember, to find strength, to honor… I dried my tears, but turned for once last glance back before I walked towards my car.

The bright orange gerbera daisies instantly had my attention once again. I’d brought these flowers for their color, as they reminded me of the colors my mom had my dad paint in their house they’d built. Bold, brilliant, vivid, it’s a winning color that I’m sure my dad shook his head at as he applied it to the walls. I figured it would only be appropriate to bring those flowers, to this place, to honor him.

The happy faces of the flowers continued to smile at me, yet I struggled to return the smile. Someday when I visit this cemetery, I know I will gain strength enough to more easily smile at the memories I have of my dad while bringing flowers in remembrance. But not yet, not today.

Today my heart still aches from his absence.

A daisy for my dad…